Exercise 1

For every thing i wrote in my early years i had some kind of feedback but this feedback has turned from possitive and constructive to quantitative in a destructive way. When i first started to write poetry seriously in 4th grade, i had an excellent teacher who encouraged me in that and offered me insights into what patterns my poetry feel into. However, when i entered high school these forms of writing were all but distained as personal writing. We studied poems, reduced them to their constituent elements and analyzed what we had in front of us. For me this always took most of the joy out of reading the poetry. Lately i've been getting back to enjoying writing as a result of writing lyrics for various bands i jam with. This is helping me to explore my writing in an environment that once more encourages me to take risks and offers critiques of what i write and how i present it.
While i have a few memories of writing before 4th grade that year was the trully formative year for my entire primary school experience. I wrote about everything i could think of. Cars, roses, the floor, people were all subjects i used. I found myself trying things i hadn't thought of before, reading Robert Frost and the like. I strove for a simple power, and elegance in the simplicity of form of what i wrote. For the most part, i didn't meet what i was striving for. Honestly, they were simple dabblings into language and verse. But i loved to do it, i smiled as i wrote and i loved to write. i had three notebooks full of writing by the end of the year. After this, though, i had some more negative experiences through the rest of my schooling.
In 5th grade i had a teacher much more concerned with making me bow under the load of homework that with what i wrote. Although i did submit poems to publications they lacked the joy of the previous writings. The motifs were dark and quite nihilistic, a pattern that would stick with me for my high school career, as well. I found that writing was no longer a joy and that it was harder to motivate myself to really care. It began the hibernation of my writing for fun.
All through high school i can remember being forced to write essay after essay. We never did any creative writing only logical argumentation through writing. It was boring and unengaging to me. Even reading took on a negative light as we were made to read and overanalyze book after book. It got to the point where i would deliberately not read a book until the year after it was covered so that i could enjoy it on its own merits and appreciate the artistry of the work. I understood the technicalities and they were always in the back of my mind but i didn't let them pervade my reading of these books. It was a solace for me.
My latest class in english here was much more enjoyable. We engaged the reading but didn't over-reach to understand it. I came away feeling like there was a good balance of appreciation and analyzation. I enjoyed reading and began to write for fun again. With Micah i wrote lyrics and i began to write some poetry again. While i didn't force the muse to come, when she did it was an amazing experience. Just to know i was creating something and feeling like it was great filled me with the joys of writing again. Also, my girlfriend helped with this. She always offered constructive criticisms of my writing. She would notice patterns i fell into with my language and comment on them. Owing to the fact i hadn't noticed these before i worked at fixing them and still am working. Trying to incorporate lost vocabulary is tough to do but i want to so it will happen.
So far this year, i am already beginning to feel like i'm getting back into writing more and more. I want to make sure this class will help me greatly and help me to find what i have lost. I almost feel wierd and sappy saying these things, like i should be guilty for saying them at all. But there they are, my most notable experiences in writing to date.