you should read the whole blog if you're going to read any

ok, so point one in this blog is this: jeff buckley is the greatest singer/songwriter of the 90's. his untimely death was the single greatest blow to that decade of music and perhaps to this decade in music. if you haven't heard of him or haven't heard his songs i must implore you to go directly to budget on 32nd and Youngfield and listen to anything they have by him there. He's amazing! he and tori amos are the two artists most frequently in my cd player. i can listen to him any time and come away feeling better for it. amazing! super amazing! i'm glad i was introduced to him and owe the introducer a debt i hope i can repay somehow because she's basically a musical goddess. so yeah, on to the rest, lol. this is going to be an "if you haven't, do" blog i think. if you haven't taken the time to chill with classmates outside of classtime you are missing one of the best parts of the class. i think that the single greatest improvements to my writing have come as a direct result of carolyn and autumn. if you have creative writing they are primo readers. and i feel a joy when i'm writing. i care a lot more and i do it more often. i'm very happy about that. and i'm listening to Elbow, another fun band from seattle *i think*. and tuesday is great fun to go look at art with. her sense of form and color is very good. she may not be an artist but she should be. god i want to just put myself on cruise control right now. just let myself not feel very much. i just had the most horrible pang wrack me. now i'm feeling quite alone again. i hate this feeling sometimes. i'm so happy though, too. i just payed my parents the last full paycheck of mine they get. i owe them $68 as of right now, oooooooooo! i'm very excited. then i'm starting to save for when i move out to be with sara in june. nothing could make me happier than that thought, nor more hopeless at this point. it's so far away, it seems. i just want it to be the last week of spring semester already. i can just see how exciting a time that will be. i'll be working my last shifts at peaberry and preparing to move. sara and i will be talking about it like two twittering little robins. i long for those times right now. until then i'm going to get to see her twice, three times at most. after those thoughts nothing could be crueler than that realization. who shall i blame for this sweet and heavy struggle? i don't know, perhaps myself. but i can't wait for june to come, can't wait for her plane to arrive for her uncle's wedding (a most fitting transition into being together all the time, it should be added). for those of you who are scratching your head right now i'll give you the short version. the non-ADD version. the version that it a bittersweet tale for me given her absense. i met sara at her aunt nancy's wedding. i still maintain that i have never seen hair so blonde and that no girl could be more radiant than she was there. i didn't even see her face, just her back. i was instantly attracted to her. it took me many trips to the buffet and some patience to get the opportunity to talk to her. it was one of the most daunting things i've ever done. finally she got up and made her way out of the reception. by pure luck i was getting water after going to the bathroom. seeing her walk out my heart did leap. we only talked for half an hour but i knew i wanted to know her better. now i know her better than i have any other person and still want to know more every day. sometimes we're both boring and sometimes we're full of new stories but every time we talk i know how much i love her. so wow, went a totally different direction there. but i'm glad i did. even if you all aren't, i needed to vent and let out some feelings. i feel better and that all i care about, lol. hopefully you are all not apalled that i'm still alive and don't think i'm overly sad about this, i'm just lonely.