you know what i've realized? i'm not that funny. and don't you even try to console me or anything. i've come to grips with this fact. i have my moments but they are few. but what i lack in humor i make up for with debate skills and general, useless knowledge. like the fact that the platypus is the only venemous mammal or that 1/8 of the population of the U.S. lives in California or that the English owe their nasty weather a lot more than they'd admit when i comes to their defeat of the Spanish Armada. and you know what, i've got another thing: a snappy phrase. oh, and i can punctuate better than most. i even know how to use the : and - - correctly and no, their not for smiley faces in this case. and i know that the best mints come from victoria's secret. you think i'm kidding but i'm serious. i'm that guy you think is creepy. you know why? because i just walk into victoria's secret without any girl with me. i just walk in like i own the place or am a gaylord on par with geezer. and you know what i do? i go straight for the mints. the cinnamon ones. because even though i'm not a fan of cinnamon i am absolutely addicted to those mints. they're my substance of choice for abuse.
that is all.
(see! snappy phrase!!)