written upon the occasion of a glitch in the ship

this was written a few weeks ago now. i was just writing to move through my problems on paper. so luckily now i have a record for posterity. so here goes, the anatomy of my thinking after a few fights over a few nights...

I feel...oddly without weight. like this real rift with Sara had to happen. i just wasn't prepared to take such a leap yet. i may not have been happy, but neither was i unhappy in unequal meassure through all this. i'm on the verge of moving on. buth then i can't feel right moving on, either. we've both put far too much into the relationship to quit over this. i think mostly of this problem as, intrisically, based on the distance. it puts such weight on you to be taken but alone. it wears on you slowly. perhaps out faltering here has nothing to do with each other and everything to do with the distance.